- 13th November 2012
- Posted by: Seatons Solicitors
- Category: Articles, Family Law
1. STAY CALM AND TAKE THINGS SLOWLY
When you are going through a Divorce, your emotions will be all over the place and it can be difficult to make the right decisions. Give yourself time to let your emotions calm down so you can think clearly and try and sort things out sensibly and when you feel the time is right. There is often no rush. Taking time before making any important decisions will ensure that any stress or strong emotions don’t affect you being able to make the right decision for you.
2. ACT WITH INTEGRITY AND TRY AND DO THE RIGHT THING
It is important that you behave in an integrious and truthful way and that you try and do the right and decent thing. It’s so easy to get sucked into behaving based on negative emotions such as frustration and anger. Behaving in an honest and integrious way will genuinely help you psychologically come to terms with the separation and divorce. It may be upsetting to reveal certain elements of your marriage and there might be certain things you simply don’t want to talk about. If you lie about anything or provide misleading information then it can often lead to serious arguments and problems later on. Honesty is the best policy!
3. TRY NOT TO CRITICISE OR ARGUE
Try not to criticise your spouse. Try and be calm and keep a level head, especially when any difficult issues arise. Try to think ahead and think past the divorce. You need to focus on you getting a successful long term outcome and arguing with your soon to be ex spouse can often adversely affect your long term goals. Of course there may be times when you have to stand your ground but make sure that if you do this that you stick to the facts and not to general statements of behaviour or attitude. Arguing and fighting over minor and non important things will waste valuable time and energy and will get you nowhere as you don’t want to end up in court where things can often get very messy and expensive!
4. DON’T INVOLVE YOUR CHILDREN
Sadly, arguments over children are all too common. Whilst you love your children and want the very best for them, this is where arguments often occur within divorces. It is important that you try and avoid having arguments over your children if at all possible. Your priority must be to ensure your children are protected and witnessing or being aware of their parents arguing over them is not good and can cause problems. Try and reach agreement in private with you’re your spouse over issues relating to the children and present a united front so they are not at risk of being psychologically affected by the separation or divorce. Whatever happens you must not use or manipulate your children to get a better deal out of the divorce.
5. TRY AND UNDERSTAND BOTH YOUR OWN AND YOUR SPOUSE’S FEELINGS
Following a separation it is important to consider how well both you and your spouse are coping emotionally. One of you might have worked through the harder stages of a separation or divorce and come to terms with it quicker than the other and it is important to acknowledge this. If you are able to adjust and come to terms with a separation more quickly than your spouse then try not to make things worse by showing off how great your life is now, especially if a new love interest is involve. Let yourself and your spouse come to terms with the separation and divorce at your/their own pace.
6. EMPLOY A GOOD DIVORCE LAWYER!
Sorting out a divorce yourself can often be confusing and difficult. If things start to get messy then it can also become expensive. Using a good lawyer to protect you and look after your best interests can often get the divorce sorted out quickly, easily and at low costs and ensure that you will get the best result. Your friends and family might offer help and support you to help you get through the divorce but often they know very little about the legal issues involved and well meaning advice can often distort and sometimes make matters worse. When it comes to legal issues then you can’t beat good accurate and friendly advice from a specialist divorce lawyer who will protect you and ensure you act appropriately and help you make the right decisions to secure your long term future.
Seatons Solicitors can help with your separation and divorce! With our outstanding experience and expertise in dealing with family law, we can make your divorce a much easier and less stressful time for you. Please call us for a free no obligation chat about your family law matter on 01536 276300 or use our online enquiry form.